St Dominics - Day 3

Day 3

I got up at about 7.30am and I decided that I wasn’t hungry so I just made myself a coffee and just drunk it up in the room.

I spend most of the morning in the room apart from when I made myself a coffee or went out the back for a smoke.

Stephen had an appointment in Palmerston North at 10am so he decided to come over to Feilding to see me. He arrived about 11.30 am and we went into Feilding and got some McDonalds for lunch and went out to a friend’s place. We were there for most of the afternoon. After leaving there, we shot into Palmerston North; Stephen went and did some shopping at Pak ‘N’ Save. Then we went and got a drink from McDonalds. After being there for a bit, we went over to Highbury to see another friend.

After leaving Michaels place, Stephen went and put some more petrol in at Mobil and he then decided to take me back to St Dominic’s. I didn’t really want to come back here at all. I am not enjoying it here and I haven’t managed to be able to fully relax at all plus I was missing home.

I got back just after 6pm and found they never kept me any tea. I was highly pissed off as I told them that I will be back for tea. I went out for a smoke and broke down in tears. I had a hell of a job to get myself back together before I went back inside, I think I had about 2 or 3 smokes in a row to try and help me calm down. I know I was late back but still. The evening staff found some Mac and cheese for me to have. While I was waiting for the food to heat up in the microwave, The Evening staff member goes to me “Are You Ok”, I turned and yes I was fine, just missing home a bit. She turned and said to me if you don’t want to be here, just go home. I was standing there thinking what the fuck, I never said I wanted to go home, and I was trying to work out how she got that out of I am missing home a bit.

After the staff member said what she said to me, I rang Stephen up in tears and told him I wish I went home with him. I have defiantly notice that it has just as stressful being here at St. Dominic’s than what it is at home. At the end of the day, I was better off staying at home as still being under the same amount of stress than what I have had here. I am really disappointed how it has all worked out for me. I know it be more than likely me that is to blame how things have turned out. I am very disappointed in myself for it and I don’t blame them if they don’t want me back. I have bought all the stress on myself. I am an adult and I should know better.

I had a shower at about 9.30pm. The hot water was near enough to cold. I was only in the shower for a couple of minutes when the water went stone cold. I was not impressed at all. I love to have my showers hot. Even the two nights before tonight was a lot warmer than what it was tonight.

In the end I ended up going to bed. The banging, slamming, moaning etc was happening for most of the night. I didn’t get much sleep again because of all the noises the other woman were doing. But I worked out that this Tracey was the worst over all with making the most fucking noise. I just wanted to smack her head in. Oh I dislike the bitch, everything has to be all about her and she packs a shit if she doesn’t get her own way. I say shoot the bitch and feed her to the sharks out at sea. But here again the sharks most likely spit her out and I wouldn’t blame them.